Prologue
My pulse was racing as I began speeding through the derelict South London streets. My mind was absolutely frantic - to say the least. I hated her, I hated her so fucking much. I was happy to be alone - to have her out of my life. She was the best, and the worst thing, to ever happen to me. But I was tired of our constant fighting, tired of all the arguments. Things would never be the same, I knew that. If we couldn’t be together, we could at least be close, right? wrong.
“How long does it take to see that we are more than meant to be?”
I could see her lips moving in my mind as her words replayed over and over. Her words meant nothing - yet the whole world, at the same time. Alicia, she made my blood boil. My testosterone reach new heights; impossible heights. But she was like a drug. Every time she pushed me away, I was hungry for more. But she wasn’t playing any games, she was deadly serious about everything. She was unlike any other girl, ever. Alicia was the un-charmed. She would never succumb to me, and her approval was what I craved ever-longingly.
One failed relationship, one failed friendship. But I wasn’t going to give up on her, not yet.
Pulling my hand through the disheveled curls on top of my head, I swerved into her street and down by her house, parking. Un-clipping my seatbelt, I silently opened my car door and tried to close it with little to no force. Her bedroom light was on - this scene seemed so familiar. I even knew the routine; she was alone.
Scrambling up the cobbled path to her glossy black front door, I knocked on it with force, my eyebrows furrowed and jaw clenched. Goosebumps teased my arms through the thin clad that was my Ramones t-shirt. On the other side of the door, I heard light footsteps and her start to fumble with the lock.
She didn’t look suprised to see me. Her eyes were filled with pain, which soon switched to anger.
I shook my head; “I hate you, Alicia.”
And with that, I cupped her stone-cold face in my hands, pressing her delicate lips to mine with force. One of my hands pushed from her cheek to her hair, grasping at the roots for dominance; for ownership. The heat of my lips seemed to warm her body instantly. I didn’t expect her to fight, but I didn’t expect her to give in. She stood limp, hands by her sides I rubbed my thumbs across her peachy cheeks.
“I thought I was happy just to let you walk away.” I gasped; she pulled my bottom lip gently with her teeth as I tried to move away. “But I’m not. I want it to be like it was before.”
Letting go of my lip, Alicia pulled my hands away from herself and held onto them, her over-sized knitted jumper sleeves wrapping round my trembling fingers, suffering from the sub-zero temperatures.
“Your words don’t mean shit, Harry.” She confessed, letting go of my hands before painfully walking away, closing the door with force behind her.
I stood there, no longer trembling from the cold. I was hot. I was boiling. I was furious.
This is why I hated Alicia Reid.
—
Chapter 1.
My head was thumping from the night before; eyes burning as the brightness of the grey sky outside shot in beams through the blinds, burning into my clenched eyelids. I tried to move and groaned at the pain as my muscles ached through every inch of my body. Painfully rolling onto my back, I propped myself up with my elbows and, though straining, managed to open my eyes and scan the room in front of me. Seeming unfamiliar at first, I soon accustomed to the surroundings of Liam’s flat. After shaking my hair and pulling it to the side, I froze when I heard ruffling beside me and some light breathing. To my relief, I turned around and saw the limp, petite body of Alicia lying in the confounds of the sheets that laced Liam’s spare room.
I found myself simply staring at her for longer than I should have. Though I was clueless to the night before and it’s many mysteries, I knew whatever it held wouldn’t have been anything out of the ordinary for Alicia and I. She was quite simply the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, and she knew I had feelings for her. But we were only ever seen as friends with benefits, or maybe even less. It was fair to say we hated each other, but that made everything more exciting. She was blunt, stubborn and self-loathing, all things I couldn’t stand. But she was also funny, witty and fit - to put it honestly.
Our past relationship of being together and being one of those cute couples you see walking down the street was well and truly dead and gone. After our split and then re-kindling, things were never the same. Did I want to go back to the past? Probably not - because to me, it never seemed real. But I’m not happy with the way things are now. I want us to have more than the burning passion for sex and lust, more than drunken nights together that we would probably feel silly about in the morning, more than hating each other’s guts just for a good night in bed.
“Stop staring at me, wanker.”
I heard the grumbling of her morning voice fill the air as my eyes lapped over every inch of her exposed skin; her face, forearm, part of her leg. Did I feel embarrassed? Of course not. This was usual for us. Turning my hips around and pulling my legs onto the bed, I shuffled closer to her and crossed my legs.
“Last night..” She started, sitting up with her elbows as her vest-top strap fell down one side of her arm and her loose dark brown curls cascaded her face, “..anything?”
“Nothing new.” I shrugged, dropping my shoulders as I turned to look at the window, peering out of the cracks in the blinds.
I could feel her eyes burrowing into my neck and sink to my collar bones. I was used to the sound of her slow-paced breathing. It was almost like a sweet, quiet squeak. The bed moved and I turned to face her as she tried to get up, a pair of shorts hung loosely around her waist as she swung her legs over the side of her bed. She went to stand up and almost falling over, laughing at her own attempt.
“What did I do to you last night?!” I laughed, eyeing up her every move.
She didn’t reply, instead she just turned to face me with an evil glare - almost a smirk. Shaking my head, I jumped off of the bed and left her in the room. She’d make her way downstairs eventually.
I could hear the clatter of dishes in the kitchen and some faint, mumbling voices. As my bare feet brushed against the wooden flooring, I made my way into the kitchen and was met with some familiar stares. Liam was standing over the cooker, frying up some breakfast as Zayn and Louis sat by the breakfast bar.
“Busy night?” Louis implied, raising his eyebrows suggestively.
I laughed, rolling my eyes “I think so.. the way she’s walking would suggest so.”
Zayn laughed and whistled at his bowl of cereal, taking a sharp intake of breath through his teeth. After taking a spoon and half eating it, he turned to me as I sat on one of the stools and said “Do you never get bored of her? Never want to expand your horizons?” Waving his spoon around in the air.
I was somewhat baffled by his question. Was it even a question?
“He’s got a point. Do you not get tired of the same.. candy every day?” Louis began, patting my shoulder.
My face remained expressionless. I stared at the tiled worktop in front of me with a blank face, blinking at nothing. They didn’t understand that she was all I needed to keep myself satisfied. But it hurt that I was never enough for her, because she never stopped with me. She’d continue onto other guys whilst I stayed faithful to her. It wasn’t like we were an item anyway, so why didn’t I try other girls? Because I didn’t want anyone else. I didn’t even want Alicia - because I couldn’t trust her. She knows how much I feel for her, yet continues to go off with other guys. But that shouldn’t hurt me, because she isn’t mine. She’s everybody’s. The fact she would even try it on with my friends though - that was what hurt me. She’d always skim past the subject, we’d always fight, have heated arguments.. she was too shallow to understand, fueling the burning passion we had for each other.
“Just get off his back.” Liam interrupted, “Breakfast?”
Just as I nodded, I heard the faint murmurs of Alicia and Niall coming into the kitchen. Alicia was clinging on to Niall’s back, her legs wrapped tightly around his waist as he held onto her thighs. They were laughing, as per usual, and he placed her down on a stool beside me as I began digging into the bacon before me, trying my best to ignore them.
“You left her stuck up there, man!” Niall laughed as he walked past me, placing his hand on my shoulder. “Left her in a bit of a state last night - she needed my assistance down the stairs.”
I nodded, keeping my eyes on my plate as I felt the fresh fury of jealousy ripple through my body. I was pretty used to this feeling that it didn’t bother me that much anymore.
“You alright babe?” Louis asked, also tucking into his breakfast.
“Just dandy.” She replied, pulling her knees up to her chin and wrapping her arms around her legs as she balanced unsteadily on the bar stool.
I couldn’t help but steal small glances at her. Her snowy white skin contrasting the deep, rich chocolate colour that was her hair. Her clothes were baggy around her small figure and her makeup-less face looking as fresh as ever.
“Plans for tonight?” Liam asked, sitting down with the rest of us.
“It’s Saturday. Let’s. Get. Mortal.” Zayn suggested, pulling out a large wad of cash from the back pocket of his jeans.
Just another typical Saturday night for all of us, was it not? It was how the night ended that always caught my attention.
